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til I see stars in my eyes
30th-Dec-2037 10:16 am - friends only (partially)

Welcome to my journal! It's only partially friends only.
My personal, real-life posts are locked, but anything
else I post is public.

I am adding friends, but only if I know you through any
of the communities I'm involved in here on LJ. :)

If you're looking for my graphics, check out woodenwhisper!
29th-Apr-2016 09:49 am - renting for the first time
• Yes I'm posting back-to-back because these are very different topics. I really need advice about this because I literally have no idea what I'm doing. It's like teaching someone how to walk. If you can offer your experiences, I'd be so grateful.

• Just so you know, I say "I" and "on my own" a lot, but I'm talking about my sister and I getting our own apartment together.

• Basically, I've always lived at home and I'm 28. In 2009-2010, I lived away at school, but that doesn't really count since I didn't have to figure anything out.

• Right now, I have two "plans" happening. First, I'm waiting until I graduate and get a real, full-time job that pays relatively well. That'll happen in about a year. At that point, I'll try to move out as soon as possible. Second, I'm trying to get housing assistance. This is a very complicated thing. The waiting list is closed most of the time. I live in Milford, and Bridgeport's opened in mid-April. I sent in the "pre-application." They're going to take out a certain number of applications, kind of like a lottery since it's random, and contact those that have been selected by June 3rd. I'm waiting to see if I've been selected.

• My sister and I both work part-time. I go to school full-time. My sister works as much as she can. Since she doesn't drive, and with my school schedule, she can't really work more. I don't know if she would if she could. She wants to go to school, too, but there are things about that that don't matter here. Basically, we don't have a ton of money. Also, I'm filing for bankruptcy, so I'm sure my credit at the moment isn't good, and it's soon to be terrible. My sister has no credit at all.

• The cheapest apartments in my area are about $1000. That's for a two-bedroom, but even if I look for a one bedroom or a studio, it only saves a hundred or two hundred dollars. Sometimes I find a two-bedroom for like $850 or $1100, so the average price is $1000. Then there's something I don't know about: utilities and renter's insurance. How much do these things cost? How much do I actually need to live on my own?

• I've done so much research into assistance programs, and the only thing I've found that I don't understand is that some "private" (meaning not government funded) apartments will work with the renter. I can't really find information on this.

• Do you have any advice for me? I hate living here and I feel like it contributes like 60% or more to my depression. For my sister, it's like 90%. She's always so angry and miserable. I cry over this problem so often. I have no idea how to fix it, how to get out of here.

• Basically, step-by-step, how did you move out of your parents' house? Maybe I can learn something from your experience. Thank you so much.
29th-Apr-2016 09:32 am - ugh
• This week I didn't go to class Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday because I just didn't feel good. I feel like I say that when I'm feeling depressed and/or anxious, but I can't explain why. That's why depression sucks. I'll just have no energy or motivation, and I'll be very down on myself, for absolutely no reason. Or something small can set it off.

• So I didn't go to class. On Thursday morning, I emailed one of my professors because an essay was due. I said something about a stomach bug. He replied with this:
Hi Allison

Unfortunately this puts you over the limit at 6 absences. I recognize that you have been ill and I have deep sympathy and respect for you, but you have missed three weeks of class, which is a lot. Although the department says that failure with six absences, as I stated in the syllabus, I will grant an extra absence because of your circumstances. But I must lower your final grade by one letter. I am very sorry because you are such a great student.

I'm such an idiot! I forgot this was even an option! I didn't know you could be failed because of absents. I mean, that's such an obvious thing, but that fact fell out of my mind or something. UUGGGHH.

• I replied and thanked him for basically not failing me. I'm so embarrassed to be honest, and now I'm worried that my other classes will fail me. But none of my professors have said anything to me. Hopefully they would email me if they were going to do that. :(

• This professor who I emailed above I'm taking again in the fall, so next semester I'm going to be ON TOP OF MY GAME. I'll have classes all day (basically 9am to 6pm) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This semester I'm in, I had to go four days a week. It sucked. Maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know. I know I was also anxious about the grant and wondering if I got it. It doesn't really matter. Next semester, my second-to-last, will be far better.
28th-Apr-2016 10:48 am - YouTube Update!
Hi everyone! Here are my latest videos. I hope you enjoy them! ^_^

28th-Apr-2016 08:17 am - Little Bits
• Thanks for all your comments on my game post! I've yet to make a decision. I think I'll finish Fable III and see how I feel. :)

• I discovered a new musician and you all should listen to her - Zella Day! I seriously love her stuff.

• My motivation is at an all-time low. I went to class Monday, and haven't gone the rest of the week, including today. I'm not going. I just don't wanna. After today, there are three more days left of school. I have a French test. I have a final revision of my story due. Then I have a French final and a Brit Lit final the following week. Ugh.

• I got sorted into Ravenclaw over at HiH! Woo! ^_^

• I saw The Huntsman: Winter's War and it wasn't very good. I think Snow White and the Huntsman was far better.
22nd-Apr-2016 02:43 pm - Games
I think I might buy a new game soon, but I don't know which one. What is something you recommend? Also, have you played any of these? They're on my Steam wishlist.
-Life is Strange
-Alice: Madness Returns
-Dreamfall Chapters
-The Forest
-Alien: Isolation
Let me know your thoughts!
21st-Apr-2016 06:03 pm - Lacking Motivation
• I'm seriously lacking motivation. The semester is almost, though. I just gotta push through! May 5th will be the last day, and then the following week is final exams. I think I only have to sit for one.

• I've been playing Fable III. This is kind of an older game since it came out in 2010. I've played it a few times before and I really love it. It's everything I want in a game. But I feel like most people don't like it. It is kind of cartoony, and the controls aren't great, but I still love it.

• Coincidentally, I looked up to see if there's another sequel in the works. There was one, but it was just recently cancelled! UGH. I'm so disappointed.

• You know what other game I liked? Dishonored. That has a sequel coming out this year. Maybe I'll replay Dishonored soon. I think I bought it on Steam.

• I still haven't been reading much, but only because I've been really busy. I gotta get so much stuff done.
17th-Apr-2016 05:25 pm - Jonathan Swift
Ask me questions here!!! There are still 5 spots left. ^_^

• I'm working on this essay on Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" from 1729 and it's so hard. I've done more organization and outlining than my last two essays for this same class because I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it. I'm avoiding any outside sources (like Wikipedia) because I want to just go off of what the professor has given us. I feel like my essay will make more sense that way. I don't want to get bogged down.

• This is basically a short essay about the deplorable condition of Ireland at the time, but it's satire. It's written in first person, but Swift isn't the narrator. He takes on the character simply known as "The Proposer." Ireland was basically England's first colony, and they bled the country dry. It was quite impoverished. In another essay from 1726, Swift wrote about ways to fix the situation. He actually wrote several essays. He was always ignored. Nothing good was ever done. So he became really angry and wrote "A Modest Proposal." He spends several paragraphs talking about the sorry state of Ireland, and then gives his idea.
     "I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
     "I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasse or a ragout."

When I first read this, my jaw dropped! The rest of the piece is quite excessive. It's basically trying to say that the condition of Ireland is so bad that cannibalism would be better, and that the English are metaphorically devouring the Irish anyway.

• I also think I want to do a good job because this professor is, well, kind of a prick. I mean, I try to get along with him, but he just comes off as a pompous ass, but kind of in a lovable way. Does that make any sense? I don't know. But on the other hand, I haven't done poorly on the last two essays. I received an A- on both. I should do fine, but I still want to put a good amount of effort into it.

• Last night my sister and I saw The Boss just for fun. I normally don't see comedies because they're not my cup of tea, but I like Melissa McCarthy. It was okay. Maybe 2.5 stars. We were supposed to go to a museum today, but I didn't feel like it. I feel bad because my sister's been depressed all day. She's sleeping now. I suggested going on a walk down this trail we want to explore, but she didn't want to do it. :(

• Like I do every semester, I decided to sign up for another class! So I'm currently registered for five classes. Yes, that's the "normal" amount, but so far, every semester I've dropped a class and finished with four. That's still full time, so I've been safe. I guess I just always want to try. Here are the classes I'll be taking:
-Intro to Poetry Writing
-Rhetorical Strategies
-BritishLit through History II (currently taking BritLit I - that's what the Swift essay is for)
-Contemp Latin American Lit
-Gender, Media, Culture
They're all English/Lit classes except the last one, which is a Women's Studies. It just looked interesting and it fit in my Tue/Thur schedule.
16th-Apr-2016 09:54 am - Requesting ARCs
• I know I just made a post less than 24 hours ago, but I feel chatty. :p

• Regarding my YouTube channel: I had created a YouTube account in like 2007 in order to upload concert videos. When I decided to start doing YouTube regularly, I deleted those videos and just uploaded my vlogs and things to that channel. It had a proper username - spriink. You may remember that name here on LJ. On that channel, I got up to about 75 subscribers and wanted to change my username, but I couldn't. I also had to kind of switch accounts everytime I signed into YouTube and that was annoying. (It's weird, but you can have multiple YouTube channels with the same email.) So I decided to create a new email and reupload my latest videos and go from there. That was in December. When I get to 100 subscribers, I can request to have a proper username. Right now my channel url is just a bunch of random letters and numbers. I'm at 69 subscribers right now.

• On my first channel, I'd begun requesting ARCs (advanced reader copies) because I was super excited to have the newest (and free-est) books to review. When I switched, I decided to wait to request until I got to that 100 count and could have a proper name. Well, I threw that out the window in March. I started requesting and have now requested 13 titles. I've heard back from 4 of them. One of them wasn't going to give me the title, but they did turn me onto bloggingforbooks.com. If you have any kind of blog, you can request books through this site. It works! Through this site, I've received The Library at Mount Char. The thing is, this book came out last June, so it's not exactly brand new, but I don't really care. I really wanted this book because I've heard great things. I can request one book at a time, and when I post my review on their site, I can request another.

• The other three titles I'll be receiving are You Know Me Well by David Levithan and Nina LaCour, The Last One by Alexandra Oliva, and... Where Am I Now? by Mara Wilson. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GETTING THIS LAST ONE. I love Mara Wilson, and not just because of her child acting. I follow her on Twitter (@MaraWritesStuff) and she is hilarious. She kind of kept this book underwraps until recently, and when I heard about it, I knew I had to have it. Now I'm getting it! For free! ^_^ These will all be finished copies, too. Sometimes the publisher will send an actual ARC, and other times (most of the time for me, actually) they say they'll put me on the list to receive a finished copy. That's fine!
15th-Apr-2016 04:40 pm - Completely Random Bits
Ask me questions here!!! There are still 11 spots left. ^_^

• I applied to different internships in Manhattan! I just got overexcited after making my last entry. I thought I could get some good experience if I interned for the summer. I think I only applied to like 5. I'm not really expecting anything, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

• I called out of work today saying I had a migraine, but in reality my anxiety was just really bad all day today. I can't explain why. I just felt really anxious and unsettled. They were completely fine with it, though, and it was the first time I've called out.

• I have an essay due Tuesday, and I really don't want to leave it to Monday night, so I'm going to try to get it started tonight. I have a ton of other homework as well, but this essay is the biggest project this weekend.

• My sister's phone got an update and there are new emojis! We have the same phone, but I'm still waiting to be prompted to updated. (In case you're wondering, it's the Galaxy S6.)

• I really liked the Outlander season 2 premiere and I'm very excited for this season. I love this show!

• I've decided to apply at platform_934. :)
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