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30 December 2037 @ 10:16 am

Welcome to my journal! It's only partially friends only.
My personal, real-life posts are locked, but anything
else I post is public.

I am adding friends, but only if I know you through any
of the communities I'm involved in here on LJ. :)

If you're looking for my graphics, check out woodenwhisper!
31 December 2015 @ 11:59 pm

Tiny Icons Key:
= reading/seeing/playing for the first time
= movie seen in the theater
ratings: one to five ♥

BooksCollapse )

MoviesCollapse )

Tiny icons snagged from Mini Icons!
31 December 2015 @ 11:58 pm
Last year's goals made about halfway. You made an effort, but you could have done better. That's what 2015 will be about!

FINISH THE NOVEL You've been working on your novel since July 2012. It's time to get it done! Write as often as possible to finish the first draft so you can finally edit the thing and make it appropriate for someone else to read it. Think how proud you'll be!

EXERCISE You're not an active person. Your favorite days are spent sitting down all day. That needs to change. Going for a little walk every day will help you.

EAT BETTER Make an effort to not eat so much junk food. Actually buy healthy snacks instead. Learn how to cook healthier foods. You have plenty of role models in this area. You just need to start doing it for yourself!

SAY YES Adopt the philosophy of "Just Say Yes!" You never know what it may lead to, and you'll probably be happier for it. Don't be such a recluse. Do more things!

BE CLEANER You want to be a well-organized person, so work on being it! Things don't happen overnight, so try a little everyday to be better.

STAY ON TOP OF THINGS You already have a lot going on - writing, school, YouTube, jewelry. You want each of things to be successful, and that means no slacking off. Approach a task with 100% effort.

BE HAPPY Do your best to not let little things give you so much anxiety and make you so sad. Try to live every day to its fullest, and that means don't wallow in depression or self-pity. Keep yourself motivated!
28 November 2015 @ 02:38 pm
Hi everyone! Here are my videos from the past week. I hope you enjoy them! ^_^

music: Phoria - Undone | Powered by Last.fm
25 November 2015 @ 01:08 pm
Hi everyone! I forgot to post my videos on Saturday, so here they are from last week. :)

23 November 2015 @ 11:31 am
I have so many things on my mind, as usual. I'm thinking about next year a lot, kind of planning my goals and resolutions. I don't know what I'm going to do with this journal. I'm going to keep updating, but I'm not going to have a scrapbook or anything.

I'm really tired today and I don't know why. I have this whole week off of school. I have a lot of stuff I want to do. I have a few different appointments tomorrow and Wednesday.

I don't know. My brain's not working right now.
21 November 2015 @ 06:06 pm

hosted by calendarsquares - sign ups close December 1!
14 November 2015 @ 09:58 pm
• Hi everyone! So I thought I'd make a little update. It'll be pretty general and boring, I think, but I still wanted to do it.

• I've been sick for over a week, and only in the last day have I started to really feel better. Today was a great day because I had so much energy and focus. I got so much homework done. It's amazing.

• Speaking of homework, I was out of school for a week because I was sick and because of my foot. That set me back a bit, but now I'm catching up. I think December 19 is the last day of the semester, so I have about a month left. It's been fast and slow at the same time. I'm looking forward to the winter break.

• Internships are on my mind. SCSU, my school, has an English Department internship for the spring semester. The application is pretty lengthy, but I'm going to try to do it. The deadline is November 30. I applied for the same internship for the current semester and didn't get it, obviously, but I want to try again. I then got another email a couple days later about a book publishing internship. I was really interested because I'm still kind of torn between college admin and book publishing. This email had a lot of information, but nothing about applying. So I emailed the woman listed in the info and asked how to apply. She responded saying that I meet her, and then proceeded to give me the details of the internship again. So I guess she doesn't expect a big pool of applicants, and I think I have a meeting set up for Tuesday. I'm excited!

• I've also been doing my YouTube channel. I really enjoyed October, and then I got a notebook and planned out my books to read and my videos to film and post. I had so many ideas that I have videos going up every other day in November. However, it's about half way through the month and I'm starting to feel a bit scrunched. I'm focusing a lot on videos, and not a lot on reading. I think I'll scale back next month.

• Speaking of reading, I've finished two whole books so far! That's sarcasm. I really thought I'd be reading more. I don't know why. I actually just finished my second book a few hours ago. And I'm currently reading four different books, not including books for school.

• Another thing I started out of kind of nowhere was a whole bunch of LJ communities. You may have noticed. About a month ago I started capspiration because I thought it'd be lowkey and fun, and from there I got the idea for capicontest, and then I just decided that I wanted a Once Upon A Time icon challenge comm, so I created ouatchallenge, and I also brought back sparkyourmuse because I really love the idea of it. So I kind of went from 0 to 80 within a week. :p But by scheduling entries, I can stay on top of them.

• What else am I doing? Well, I started rewatching Gossip Girl. AGAIN. I think this may be the fifth time I've rewatched this show. It's just addicting, and it's been at least a year since I watched it, I think. I love the music. I love the drama. I love the costumes. I also bought myself a coloring book, the Lost Ocean one, and so I sit and color and watch Gossip Girl, lol!

• I use this app called Forest to time my homework/study time. I go for 45 minutes, then take a little break, then go for 45 minutes, then take a longer break. Right now is my longer break. I think I'll go read some of Honeydew.
music: The Kite String Tangle - Arcadia | Powered by Last.fm
13 November 2015 @ 12:17 pm
Hi everyone! Here are my YouTube videos from the week. I hope you enjoy them. ^_^

11 November 2015 @ 09:32 am

After a lengthy hiatus, SYM is back! Check out
the latest theme - WARPING GRAVITY.
08 November 2015 @ 04:08 pm


Sorry to keep posting, but I made the community and wanted it to go live before OUAT airs tonight. :)
08 November 2015 @ 10:05 am
As you probably know, Once Upon A Time is one of my all-time favorite shows, for better or for worse. As far as I know, there are two icon challenge communities dedicated to it: once20in20 and ouat_elite. ~ouat_elite has been inactive since April. I messaged the mod like a month ago asking to take over it, but she never got back to me, so I'm creating my own, and this is my invitation to any of my icon-maker friends to be a co-mod with me if you want to. I don't mind doing it alone, but I thought some of you might be interested. :)
07 November 2015 @ 11:30 am

A new weekly, open icon challenge community!
rules + info | current challenge

To my friends who run challenge communities: Would you mind promoting this community? It would really be awesome! ^_^
06 November 2015 @ 10:42 am
So every Friday or Saturday I'm going to post my YouTube videos here. I hope you'll watch and enjoy them. :)

03 November 2015 @ 12:07 pm

I haven't done a reading log in a while, and I don't know if I'm going to keep doing them. I prefer doing my YouTube videos where I talk about them, so maybe I'll just share my videos here? Hmm...

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about myself. I used to whine and wail a lot on this journal about how unhappy I was and how unfair things were. I don't want to minimize those things. I was severely depressed. I didn't have a lot of support. In September of 2013, I very nearly killed myself. A few months ago, I started writing a memoir just to get out my thoughts on things. It's been pushed to the side because of school, but I do want to return it. In just the past two months, I feel my perspective has changed a lot. Time is weird.

I don't expect anybody to be all that interested in my personal issues. Like, what my aunt did to my mother, and what my mother did to me. That's internal family drama that no one really cares about. However, in the broader sense, I feel like I have something to say about loss and the grieving process and dealing with depression.

This is kind of an emotional post for me to make, but I've been wanting to make it for about a week now. I just am very grateful to anyone reading this right now. I can't stress how much it's meant to me. I've been very lost. I've been very alone. I've been very sad. Livejournal has been the one constant, positive thing in my life. I would make posts about anything no matter how I was feeling because it was the only way I had to do deal with things. I'm socially awkward, and thus have had no friends or relationships. My parents aren't great. My sister is my best friend, but there are some things I can't tell even her. It's hard to say things out loud, but it's easier to write them down. At least it is for me.

Basically, my perspective is this: As long as I can remember, going back to being a preteen, I wanted to get away from my family. I imagined moving out west (I'm from Connecticut) and telling strangers that my whole family died in a fire. I became obsessed with vampires and would leave my bedroom window open in the hopes that one would come and take me. I don't know if I was ever happy. There may have been moments when I enjoyed myself, but for the most part, I hated every aspect of my life. And I had no one who seemed to really care about me. So going to college was extremely important to me. I thought it was my tangible, real-life escape. It didn't work out right. I didn't have anyone to help me figure it out, so I went to community college, which meant living at home, for three years. Then, I finally went away to a university in Ohio. It was amazing, though not perfect. But I really felt happy. I felt like I was doing something with my life. Then in the middle of the spring semester, my grandma died.

A part of me feels that in the past five and a half years I may have romanticized my relationship with my grandmother. However, I remember that I worked at the pharmacy and would frequently go to her house on my lunch break. I called her every other day while I was in Ohio. I may not have been that close to her when I was younger, but as I grew up, something happened where a connection formed. She told me these stories about her life before having children. Just a couple. Nothing major. She was a very reserved person. At that time, my sister and I weren't close. She was living with my dad. I considered my grandma to be my best friend. While I was in Ohio, and before, I had a horrible time with my mother, and I was going to ask my grandma if I could move in with her when I got back, but she died.

Everything became a mess. I couldn't go to school because of money. I had to live with my parents. I hated my job. Like I said, I was never happy, but grief turned into depression. I would go into the backyard at night to sit on the deck and stare up at the stars and cry. I was still looking to escape and had no way to do it. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't have anyone supporting me emotionally. I didn't know who to ask for help. I was just alone.

That's how I spent my twenties. I'm 27 now, soon to be 28, and a few months ago I was feeling really old. I was wondering where the time went. I still get sad about it, but something in me has changed. A switch has been flicked. This is just my reality. I can't wallow in it forever. I can only move forward. I was thinking I had to get all business casual clothes and be boring. Fuck that! I can dress cute. I can dye my hair. I can be happy. I can live my life how I want to. There are no rules.

I missed out on a lot because I was busy being depressed. I can't go back and change things. And I can't worry about what people will think of me because of my situation. All I can really do is work as hard as I can and hope something good happens. Just a couple of days ago I was thinking about how I went back to school. It was late summer and I just decided. I got into crap classes that mostly didn't count towards anything, but I somehow did it, and now I'm in my third semester. I'm in a completely different place than I was 18 months ago. That's amazing. I hope I keep making changes like that so I can get where I want to be.
23 October 2015 @ 07:53 pm


I just created this community geared towards graphic makers. I'd love if you could check it out and promote it! :)
16 October 2015 @ 08:07 pm
Book update time!

I haven't DNF'd any books.

I've finished two books, both for school:
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel received 4 stars. I really enjoyed this memoir. I couldn't relate to a lot of it, but I still felt touched by her story. I finished reading it in public and was trying not to cry.
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley received 5 stars. I adored this book! It's the first time I've read it. I've never seen a Frankenstein film, but I had that general idea of the monster with bolts in its neck that can't speak. That book is absolutely nothing like it. I would read this again and again.

I am currently reading:
The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith. Reread. I'm reading it and listening to it on audiobook.
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I'm listening to this solely on audiobook on my way to and from school.
Hopeless by Colleen Hoover. This is my challenge from my TBR jar. I'm only about 20 pages in, but it's definitely not a book I would pick up on my own. I'm not sure how I'm going to like it.
Anya's Ghost by Vera Brosgol. This is cute. Not what I expected.

And lastly, my latest YouTube videos!

Be my friend on GoodReads!
I also posted this on my blog, Allison Talks!
12 October 2015 @ 08:51 am
• I deleted all my uploaded userpics and then uploaded just 6 of some I've made recently(ish). I haven't had a paid account in a while, and when I got my refund, I didn't want to pay for one. I don't know how I feel about LJ anymore. I used to think I would never leave, and I've had an account in one form or another for about 9 years. But I think I'm moving on. Maybe it's the platform, maybe I'm changing, maybe both. I like twitter, instagram, and youtube these days. I also have my wordpress blog. I don't even update my scrapbook anymore. I'm not at the point of deleting, but, yeah, I think I'm slowly leaving LJ. It's hard to believe.

• I missed a reading log update, but instead of making it late, I decided to just post on the next scheduled day, which is the 16th I believe. I haven't been reading a ton anyway.

• I like listening to podcasts these days. I found them all through youtube. I listen through iTunes, and the ones I listen to are Coffee With Chrachel, All the Books!, and Adventures in Roommating.

• I had to read Frankenstein for class, and I decided to listen to the audiobook. There's this free app called Librivox that has all the books in the public domain. I enjoyed the audiobook, and then I started listening to another classic audiobook for fun, and now I want to listen to more modern work, but audiobooks are so expensive. So I'm toying with getting a membership with Audible or Downpour. I'm not sure.

• I missed Once Upon A Time last night, but of the episodes I've seen, I'm still hooked! This show is just my thing. I love Regina. I wish Jennifer Morrison's acting was better.

• I went back and tagged all my book updates with "!bookupdate," so they'll be tagged with that from now on.

• Not much else is happening. I'm still going to class and doing my best. It's just about the middle of the term now. I have to register for the spring in less than a month.

• Oh, something did happen with my dog. He got out last Sunday night (a week ago) for the first time in months, maybe even a year. He was out for about five hours, until 4:30am. I was asleep, but my mom called the cops to get him. Apparently Onyx couldn't even stand up so the cop carried him inside. Since then, Onyx was lethargic and limping, not eating or drinking much. We took him to the emergency vet on Monday night. It cost $300 and they couldn't tell us much, but they gave us pain pills and told us to keep him on bed rest. This meant to keep him closed in a small room and only take him on short walks to pee and come back inside. So we did that through Tuesday. Then Wednesday, I had class and Mom took Onyx to our real vet. They took x-rays and stuff and there are no fractures or sprains. It's just arthritis. Basically, he's just old. He's about 11. We've kept him on bed rest, and he's gotten a lot better. He has his personality back. I was so worried. He still limps a little, though. And we still have him on semi-bed-rest.

• One other thing is that I upgraded my phone. I had the Galaxy S5 in white and now I have the Galaxy S6 in gold. It's so pretty and sleek. I didn't think it'd be a big difference, but Samsung made a lot of subtle changes, so I think it's a big difference. Also, the camera is a LOT better.
03 October 2015 @ 11:32 am
The stuff I bought from ModCloth didn't fit. :( Well, one shirt fit, which was nice since it was something I really wanted.

I ordered a couple things from ASOS, and they actually fit perfectly. I was so happily surprised because I thought they'd be too small.

I finally got a moto jacket! I've wanted one for YEARS. I got this from Lane Bryant.

And then from Forever 21 I got this really cute romper. It's the first romper I've ever bought.

Getting new clothes is nice. I also bought some pants from Marshalls and Fashion to Figure, but I don't think that's interesting to look at, haha. :)

I made some icons for the first time since April! I posted in my icon community today. I was just in the mood.

Not much is really going on. School is fine.
29 September 2015 @ 03:39 pm
This book update is a couple days late, but I'm doing it anyway! I kind of hit a reading slump, so I haven't been reading a ton.

I haven't DNF'd any books.

I've finished reading three books, two of which were for school.
Zami by Audre Lorde received four stars. I loved this book. I related to so much of it. There were so many things she said that touched me. It's a memoir, and she grew up in Harlem in the 1930s (I think? I don't quite remember). She doesn't identify as a lesbian because she doesn't like labels, but throughout this book she has mostly lesbian experiences. After reading this, I looked up the rest of her books and I can't wait to read them.
Survival in Auschwitz received three stars. I think the most important thing to know about this book is that the original title in Italian literally translates to, "If This Is A Man." That title gives an entire different tone to the book, and I think it's much better. I enjoyed this memoir. It goes into great detail and makes the reader realize how the prisoners came to feel - not human any longer, but also not an animal. They're somewhere in between.
Cinder by Marissa Meyer received three stars. I read this one to get me out of my slump, and it worked! I loved the sci-fi. It was a lot of fun. But the writing was kind of bland, and all the characters except Cinder were flat. They were reduced to tropes. So I think this story could have been developed more. I'll definitely read the sequels.

As for my currently reading, it's still complicated. I'm not currently reading anything, but I have an idea of what I'm going to pick up next:
The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith. Re-read. I loved re-reading The Cuckoo's Calling, so I'm excited to continue this series. The third book comes out in October and I'd love to be able to pick it up right away. I was juggling nine books at a time during the summer, but I think I'm good focusing on one at a time now.

And lastly, my latest YouTube videos!

Be my friend on GoodReads!
I also posted this on my WordPress, Allison Talks!